she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
