I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize