So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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