I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
