I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
