so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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