I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sobbing to NWA
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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