the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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