One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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