At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
