Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize