So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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