You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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