As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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