I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
