Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
