yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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