yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
