I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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