Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
