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His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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