we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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