I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
