i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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