help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
