I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize