You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
