so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
