Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
