I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
