last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
