So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
