Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
