Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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