As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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