i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Drake has all the answers
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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