"it" just moved
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
