: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
