I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
