you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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