Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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