i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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