can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I got inside last night via doggy door
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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