as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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