cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
