Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
