fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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