So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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