She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
