My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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