This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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