the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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