So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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