You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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