Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
