Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
