I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
