Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
