i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
