marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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