Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
