After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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