She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
