Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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