Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
